Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
