I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
