4 words: hood of his car
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
