I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
