; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize