Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
