At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
