im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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