Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
