my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he shaved USA in his pubs
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
