You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Every concussion has its silver lining
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
