I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
