I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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