still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
