If i come over, it means nothing
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
