your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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