She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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