Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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