I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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