I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
