I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
