I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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