i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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