I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
