I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
