I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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