overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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