Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
