He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
