Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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