so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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