I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
