dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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