maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
