remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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