i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Is Oprah even human
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
