sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
