I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
