I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
