feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
