i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
