im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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