Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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