Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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