Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
