we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
