I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
