Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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