I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Randomize
