I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
