it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
