I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
