she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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