forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
