But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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