You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The air taste purple.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
