I faked an abortion last night.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
