yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
