Dude my mom stole all your condoms
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
