I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
