go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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