Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Drunk is a universal language darling
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
