Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
