In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
