I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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