Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize