I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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